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Disowned at 44: 3 Steps I Took To Love Myself

We all have wounds. We all deserve to heal. Let’s do this!

 

I have no idea what the love of a parent feels like. So at age 44, Mom and Dad did me an unexpected favor. 

 

How many children of narcissists are given the gift of the toxic cord being cut for them? 

 

But why do this when I was 44? You see, our family has a little secret and it is the sort of secret that requires an adult man to flee to a foreign country.

 

The last time I saw you was in 2016; you asked me to my face over Mothers Day dinner at a restaurant in Braintree, Massachusetts,  “Did someone abuse you as a child, Craig?” 

 

I asked you if you really wanted to hear my answer. You said yes.

 

So I went ahead and I told you.

 

“You” You abused me. You are my abusers.

 

The waiter was asked for the check immediately and I was driven to the train station.

 

Subsequent communications included me being informed that if I did not stop speaking openly about being abused as a child, then I would no longer have a family and I responded with a youtube video link of me telling the extended family via a  group email, that I forgave you all for not understanding and that I am healing and getting better every day and it would be nice to know you all in healthier ways.

 

I took your ultimatium at face value, Mom and Dad, and you gave me one of the best gifts a couple of eldelry toxic parents could give for their love filled, beautiful and happy adult son; you set me free.

Thank you. My last words to you and the entire family, on that youtube video, were “I love you”.

 

Step #1: Recognize when there is no use in attempting to heal a relationship and set it on fire. If you are given the gift of having the toxic cord cut, embrace this rare gift and do what you need to do.

 

Step #2: Become who you were born to be before you were hurt. Be who you are, not who they said you are. You don’t need to be the product of an unloved or unhealthily loved child in adult or  adolescent form.


Step #3: Be angry as needed. Freak out if it will help you heal. Forgiveness!  How dare you? I am hurt!! They hurt me! Forgiveness is for you, my love. 

 

It is time to heal. 

Choose you. 

Love you.

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