Our daily interactions with friends navigating mental health challenges are critical for providing empathy and support. It’s not merely about the words but the meanings, implications, and emotions they carry. My professional and personal journey has been significantly shaped by my attentiveness to the language I use to discuss mental health, aiming always to foster understanding, connection, and respect.
Reflecting on my experiences as a clinician and someone engaged in peer support, I’ve realized the profound impact of our word choices. They can either bridge gaps or widen them, especially when dealing with sensitive issues like mental health. My commitment to using language thoughtfully extends beyond avoiding trendy jargon; it’s about finding words that resonate on a human level, fostering empathy and understanding.
A telling incident occurred during a home visit from my housing caseworker, intended to address a complaint about a neighbor. Instead of focusing on advocacy or support, the caseworker began a “walkthrough” of my apartment, seeking problems rather than solutions. This term and its approach felt invasive and dismissive of my concerns. It was as if my living space was under scrutiny, not in service of my well-being but as a form of control. This experience underscored the power of language to shape our interactions and the importance of aligning our words with our intentions.
This lesson was brought home to me in a more personal context. A friend and I, both with histories of mental health treatment, have a practice of checking in on each other. On one occasion, acting on instinct rather than explicit communication, I visited her, using “eyeball” to describe my intention to check in. My choice of words was met with confusion and dismay, highlighting the disconnect between my attempt at care and the implication of surveillance and intrusion that my friend felt.
These experiences have been humbling, serving as reminders of the delicate balance between offering support and respecting autonomy. The language we use can inadvertently replicate the very systems of oversight and control that many of us, especially within the mental health community, seek to challenge. My friend’s reaction to my well-intentioned but poorly chosen words was a wake-up call, emphasizing the importance of listening genuinely to people’s needs rather than imposing our assumptions or solutions.
Moreover, my past mistake of sharing a colleague’s personal story without consent taught me the importance of respecting individual ownership of experiences. This breach violated professional boundaries and impacted relationships and trust within our team. It was a stark reminder that our lived experiences are our own to share, and using them as tools in others’ care without consent can have unintended, harmful consequences.
These reflections give me a deeper understanding of my role as a mental health professional and a peer. The language we choose and our actions must align with empathy, respect, and autonomy. By genuinely listening to what people with mental illness tell us they need and respecting their boundaries and wishes, we can foster more meaningful connections and support systems. Let us be mindful of our language and actions, ensuring they reflect our intentions to uplift and empower rather than to control or diminish.
Author Info:
Max E. Guttman
Max E. Guttman is the owner of Mindful Living LCSW, PLLC, a private mental health practice in Yonkers, New York.
