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Resentment

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Compulsive helpers are not resentful. Not really.

 

 

We don’t count our slights and injuries. Not often.

 

We forgive and forget. Mostly.

 

Our hesitancy is over our feelings towards people who get in our way when we are on one of our pet projects or crusades. We jump up and down in frustration when we’re balked by some nitwit messing things up when we could see very clearly how things should be understood and how things should be done.

 

 

We notice that what these pea brains have in common is the certainty of their own opinions. They always know exactly what is right and proper and they are not deflected by other people’s opinions or even by hard evidence.

 

 

 

These numbskulls charge blindly ahead, driven by their own limited vision. They stick to their beliefs even when it is clear to everyone else that their approach isn’t working and has no chance of doing so.

 

 

What we do actually resent – just a little bit – is that these absolutely pathetic twerps don’t ask for our advice even when we make it perfectly clear that it is available.

 

 

(It takes a long time for it to occur to us that we’re looking in the mirror. We’re observing other people’s compulsive helping.

Article Rating:
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About the Author

Dr. Robert Lefever

Dr Robert Lefever established one of the first addiction rehabilitation centres in the U.K. As well as treating alcohol and drug problems, he was the first to treat eating disorders, compulsive gambling, nicotine addiction, sex, and love addiction, and workaholism.

He identified "Compulsive Helping", when people do too much for others (perpetuating their addiction) and too little to protect themselves.

In the last 35 years, he has worked personally with over 5,000 addicts and their families. He continues to provide one-to-one addiction counseling on Zoom.

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