After reading The Forgotten Art of Being Ordinary by CJ Casciotta, I was inspired to coin a term that captures a new approach to healing: The Fireplace Method. This 2023 nonfiction book critiques the metaverse-driven distractions of platforms like Instagram and Facebook and calls for a return to embracing life’s simplicity. It reminded me of The Danish Way—a philosophy where residents in Denmark, enduring six months of zero-degree weather, find solace in cozying up by the fireplace with hot cocoa rather than escaping into fantasies of sunny beaches.

This sparked the idea that our pain can serve a purpose, providing us with an opportunity to grow and recover. The Fireplace Method encourages us to confront and sit with our struggles rather than deny or distract ourselves from them. After all, what we resist, persists.

Embracing Pain to Heal

Living with pain—whether physical, emotional, or mental—is part of the human experience. The Fireplace Method teaches us that trying to outrun pain only brings us back to where we started. Instead, like Danes finding comfort in the cold and darkness of winter, we can choose to embrace life’s hardships and find meaning within them.

Rather than avoiding or numbing ourselves, acknowledging and accepting the reality of our struggles helps us to process and move through them. Healing, after all, isn’t about wishing for endless sunny days. It’s about learning to find joy, even in the rain—or in the winter months spent by a fireplace.

A Call for Reconciliation

Reading Casciotta’s book reinforced another important truth: anger and pain have their place. They can fuel us to protest, demand change, and advocate for justice. But holding onto them indefinitely only perpetuates suffering. At some point, reconciliation becomes essential. Perpetual anger and resentment harm us more than the person or system we’re upset with. Letting go allows us to reclaim peace and channel our energy toward growth.

Practicing the Fireplace Method

Here’s how I apply The Fireplace Method to daily challenges:

•Ask the right questions in tough moments. When life feels overwhelming, I ask myself:

“Did I learn anything today that I can use to promote healthy relationships in the future?”

•Reframe negative emotions. When facing fear, anxiety, resentment, or anger, I pause and ask:

“What can I do to respond healthily and feel better?”

This practice has been a guide for me in navigating both everyday struggles and deeper challenges.

Finding Joy Amid Hardship

I’ve often been criticized for my love of fashion and the joy I find in dressing up. What people don’t realize is that turning to something that sparks joy—whether it’s fashion, a favorite book, or a hot cup of cocoa—is my way of weathering life’s storms. It’s my equivalent of cozying up by the fireplace.

For me, Hershey’s cocoa powder becomes a faithful companion come December. It’s not just about the warmth of a hot drink—it’s about creating a space of comfort and grounding myself in the present moment. These small rituals remind us that even in hard times, we can find simple pleasures to sustain us.

A Foolproof Way to Manage Hard Times

The Fireplace Method isn’t about following my exact steps; it’s about discovering your own sources of healing and recovery. It’s about learning to sit with discomfort, finding meaning in the struggle, and embracing the tools—whether external or internal—that bring you back to yourself.

I hope this reflection on The Fireplace Method inspires you to create your own approach to healing. Whether it’s a cozy fireplace video, a beloved ritual, or simply a shift in perspective, healing and recovery are always possible—even in the midst of the hardest seasons.