There is a universal human need for love and affection. Yet, sometimes, the human desire for attention from others is overstated.

I think it’s important to ask: when I say “I need you,”what am I saying ?

 In my own life, I have become overly dependent on relationships. Anticipating the prospect of getting into one has left me in a state of need. The repeated rejection left me disappointed and depressed.

 I felt I was missing something by a relationship not coming to fruition. 

What, honestly, was missing? I think love relationships placed on a high pedestal can exceed their importance. 

Yet, the desire for caring for others is intense and central to the human experience. 

So it’s understandable the sense of shock when something does not surface the way one thinks it should. There can be a sense of betrayal accompanying the rejection. It can become hard to move on. Anger and resentment are diffiuclt feelings to pass through and process. 

This sense of loss is deeply personal. Yet this feeling of reliance on another person is an empty promise, considering that there are sources of fulfillment besides romantic relationships. 

Amid romantic feelings, it is difficult to distract me. It is easy for obsessions to start, and these lead to self-destructive behaviors. There seems to be no end in sight to this state of anxiety. This anxiety often transforms into restless nights and may manifest as part of a manic episode.

Romantic musings marked the start of my mental health treatment. The intensity and degree of these thoughts were part of how I eventually saw a psychiatrist.

Another person should not be the be-all and end-all. Dependence on one person to supply all meaning likely indicates that something is wrong. Perhaps people can discover hope from the phrasing used at the beginning of the mental health radio program “Moments of Clarity”: 

“Find self-love. You’re so well aligned!” Finding Higher Purpose in Affection