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I want what I’ve got now. But I need to accept the vicissitudes of time. 

I’ve enjoyed my year and more of self-isolation from the risks of coronavirus. But this is only because my isolation isn’t totally true. I share my home life with Pat even though I don’t accompany her on daily walks. 

But I shall not sentence her to venturing further afield on her own. 

My cocoon needs to split. My wings need to stretch. I need to fly in order to be part of the real world as it reassembles itself.

But will I be a butterfly or moth? Or a what? 

Probably a what. Trust me to be individual. 

My priority is to share my life with Pat. And therefore share her geographically adventurous intentions. They come as part of her package. 

And I love our jaunts together, wandering and roaming wherever in the Mediterranean coast and the Atlantic islands 

St Luke tells of a potential disciple who said “I have married a wife and therefore cannot come”. 

I’m in the opposite corner. I’ve married Pat and therefore I need to get out and about with her when it’s physical safe for me, probably in July after I’ve been able to be vaccinated against coronavirus. 

That’s what I want and it’s what Pat needs in order to enjoy updating her hiking guides. 

We’re in this commitment together. 

About the Author

Robert Lefever

Dr Robert Lefever established one of the first addiction rehabilitation centres in the U.K. As well as treating alcohol and drug problems, he was the first to treat eating disorders, compulsive gambling, nicotine addiction, sex, and love addiction, and workaholism.

He identified "Compulsive Helping", when people do too much for others (perpetuating their addiction) and too little to protect themselves.

In the last 35 years, he has worked personally with over 5,000 addicts and their families. He continues to provide one-to-one addiction counseling on Zoom.




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