Life often presents us with unexpected challenges, compelling us to make difficult decisions. For me, one of those pivotal moments was choosing to give up driving at 35, a decision driven by my struggles with sleep apnea and a mental health condition. This was not a decision I took lightly, especially after a life-altering incident in upstate New York. In this blog, I’ll share my journey, the factors behind this choice, and its profound impact on my life. But first, let’s revisit my love for driving and the road trips that have left an indelible mark on my life, particularly during some of my most turbulent times.
The Love for Driving: There’s an undeniable sense of freedom that comes with driving. For me, it was more than transportation; it was an avenue for adventure and exploration. My road trips are etched in my memory, especially two that stand out, intertwined with manic episodes and a deep connection with my father.
Montreal and Quebec City with My Dad: After my father’s dementia diagnosis, our trips to Montreal and Quebec City were filled with mixed emotions. In Montreal’s bustling streets, I saw glimpses of the man he once was, his face lighting up with memories from his youth. In Quebec City, the old-world charm provided a comforting backdrop for our conversations – some clear, others clouded by his condition.
Detroit and a Turning Point in My Life: The journey to Detroit was impulsive, a result of a manic episode following my resignation from my first job. The city’s energy was a temporary solace, but it was in Toledo where the reality of my state hit hard. Sleeping in the back of my Prius on the streets was a moment of raw vulnerability and reflection.
These trips were more than just travels; they were journeys of self-discovery, interspersed with confronting my mental health challenges. Driving became a metaphor for exploration and, sometimes, understanding the complexities of my own mind.
The Wake-Up Call: My journey towards giving up driving began with a wake-up call I’ll never forget. After giving a talk on recovery in upstate New York, a subject close to my heart, I faced the harsh reality of my conditions. While driving home, I fell asleep at the wheel and crashed. This incident was a jarring reminder of the dangers I posed to myself and others.
Facing Sleep Apnea: Sleep apnea, characterized by interrupted breathing during sleep, was a significant factor in my decision. The crash was a turning point, leading me to seek professional help. Managing sleep apnea was a step forward, but it was only part of my journey towards better health.
The Mental Health Component: My mental health was another crucial factor affecting my ability to drive safely. Recognizing its impact, I sought therapy and counseling, embarking on a challenging but necessary journey towards understanding and managing my condition.
The Decision to Give Up Driving: This decision was a culmination of self-reflection, professional advice, and an understanding of the risks involved. Driving symbolized independence, but I learned that true independence meant prioritizing safety and responsibility.
Life Beyond Driving: Adjusting to life without driving has been a journey of resilience and adaptation. Embracing alternative transportation has not only been about navigating logistics but also about personal growth. This change has also allowed me to focus more on mental health advocacy, sharing my story as both a caution and an inspiration.
In giving up driving, I made a choice for safety and well-being. This decision, while challenging, has opened new avenues for growth and purpose. Life is a journey, and sometimes the road less traveled leads us to the most meaningful destinations.
Author Info:
Max E. Guttman
Max E. Guttman is the owner of Mindful Living LCSW, PLLC, a private mental health practice in Yonkers, New York.
